Thursday, September 2, 2010

Things I think About in the Middle of the Night....

No, not that. Ok, that but also this....does a relationship need to have an Ultimate Goal?

I'm going to be filling this blog with chapters of my book that I've already completed and probably write new ones here. I'm also going to be rambling about the various ideas and thoughts that pop into my head. This is one of those times...

So yeah. Is an ultimate goal necessary to have a successful relationship? Well, I guess that depends on what you view as a success. I mean, it's obviously a good idea to know what you want out of a relationship and life as a whole. Be it marriage, companionship, kids or hot sex, you should know what it is you're ultimately hoping to accomplish. Or not accomplish as the case may be.

Society tells us we should want to find a nice person to settle down with, buy a cute house and have 2.3 kids. Granted things have changed. It's much more accepted for those 2.3 kids have 2.0 mommies or daddies today than ever before and couples in common law relationships (living together but not married) share most of the same right as married people. I know there's plenty of people out there who feel marriage isn't right for them, but does a relationship need a significant milestone to be complete?

I was like most young girls. I would daydream all the time about my perfect wedding. The dress I wanted, where it would be, I even had a date picked out. I wanted it all....except the marriage part. I still don't, really. I also don't want to have kids so I've eliminated 2 relationships goals right there.

I think I tend to believe, if it ain't broke, don't fix it. But let's take it a step further. What if you not only don't plan on marrying or having kids but also don't feel the need to move in together. Can a relationship last indefinitely as boyfriend and girlfriend? Some people say if you're not moving forward, you're moving backwards. Well, what if you just want to stand still? I'd never thought about it before. In every relationship I've been in over the last 20 years, I always assumed there had to come a point where you 'took things to the next level', whatever that meant in that situation. Honestly, the idea of not having to ever be more than I am right now is somewhat freeing to me. No pressure which means no feeling like a failure somehow for not wanting what the world says I should.

I have no idea if I'll change my mind on all this one day. Maybe 5 years from now I'll be pregnant and walking down the aisle. I somehow doubt it, but you never know. For now, I'll be enjoying it all as it comes to me while I stand still.

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