Tuesday, September 7, 2010

And Now I Tell You Openly, You Have My Heart So Don't Hurt Me.....

Love scares the shit out of me. I just finished saying this to my boyfriend. I am crazy in love with him. More than I'm comfortable with really, but it can't be helped. Love seldom can be. I have absolutely no power or control over it here and that terrifies me.

We've had some issues lately. Our own and together. It's been hard and painful for both of us. Is pain the greatest indicator of love? Nothing so completely convinces us of our state of heart like pain. Without it we'd never know the depths that we love, the extremes that we'll go to obtain and hold on to it. To love is to open yourself up completely to another person. To let them into the deepest, darkest recesses of our minds, souls and hearts. The places that we hide from the world, the places where we hide from the world. For someone with trust issues, like yours truly, it's the hardest thing in the world to do. Yet I've done it.

Because not loving him is an even scarier prospect.

P.S. I've just discovered S4lem. I think I'm in love. I just hope they don't break my heart.

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