Sunday, October 3, 2010

Back To Business: Unclean, Uncleeeeeeeeeeean

NOTE: This was written before the relationship I refer to ended. I don't plan on changing anything I wrote before my breakup but I will address it all in the chapter concerning the ill-fated LDR #5.

Ok, that might be a slight over-dramatization, but you definitely need to be prepared to deal with reactions like that once you take the plunge into internet dating or a long distance relationship. Like anyone in a new relationships, you're going to be bursting with bliss, giddy with glee and all of those other things that make everyone around you nauseous. Most importantly, you're dying to share your good news with your family, friends and everyone you pass on the street. Normally, this would be a simple task. You just say you've met someone who makes you weak in the knees. But what if you haven't met them yet?

In my experience, upon telling someone of an internet relationship, you'll get one of two reactions. Either the person you tell will be happy for you and basically react as if this was a traditional relationship. Or they'll look at you like you've grown a second head. There seems to be very little middle ground on this one. People either get it or they don't.

When they get it, it requires little explanation. You'll generally discuss how you met, how you stay in contact, how serious you feel things are then get into all the juicy details about how perfect and adorable the new object of your affection is. Pretty standard stuff.

When someone doesn't get it, they'll think things like it's not 'real', it doesn't 'count' as a relationship, you can't have feeling for someone you've never met and usually offer some sort of well meaning advice like "but you're such a great catch! you don't have to do this!" Be warned: expect to be extremely frustrated dealing with someone who doesn't get it. But also remember: if you've told them, they must be important to you. While it's disappointing to not always get the reaction you want, the reaction you get, is generally out of love for you. Does that make it ok? Not by a long shot. But for everyone's sake, you need to put yourself in their shoes and try to see how they can't quite grasp it.

My person who doesn't get it, and trust me on this one you'll have one too, is my Mom. Now no offence to older readers, but I think it's a generational thing. My Mom doesn't understand how the internet and new technologies have made the world a much smaller place. Not only do I talk to my current boyfriend on the phone every day, we also text, im, email and video chat. We even sleep together sometimes, both of us curled up in bed with out respective netbooks. Is it the same as being in bed together? Not even close. But believe me, some nights, it makes those 1500 miles feel like the length of my arm. To my Mom's credit, she always tries to understand, even when it makes little sense to her. As long as I'm happy and the person I'm with makes me happy, then she's happy too. Not that it hasn't been a point of contention at times. We've had more than a few arguments on the subject, but when it comes right down to it, she always supports me and I'm eternally grateful for that.


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