My Sharona by the Kinks. Kinks, kinky. See what I did there?
Anyhoo, I thought it was about time I gave an update on the kink site I joined. Things are going very well and I've met a lot of very nice people. More importantly though, I've learned a TON.
One thing that's hit me time and time again in the month or so I've been on there is how many things from my last relationship make more sense to me now. I really just didn't get it before. I had an idea, sure. But I have a much firmer grasp and understanding of things now. I kind of wish I'd have the chance to talk to my ex again about this stuff. It would be interesting to say the least.
I've also learned a lot about myself. For instance, years back, the very first things I learned about kink was through being an online sub to a friend. For years that stuck with me and I definitely have submissive leanings and desires. Then with my ex, I became something of a domme by default. I enjoy both. Once I got on the site, I immediately assumed I was a switch. After doing a lot of reading and asking questions, I see now that I definitely lean more towards topping and bottoming than doming and subbing. While I have no problem subbing, I have definite limits. Not just Hard limits, but I'm more of a bedroom sub than a lifestyle one.
As for topping/domming one of the most interesting things I've figured out is my forte seems to be ownership. I've discovered I really enjoy pet play and would much rather have a pet than a slave. I'm a very affection, protective person and that just fits so well with pets. It's funny, I indulged in pet play with the ex without really noticing. He was my puppy. It was a nickname, yeah, but it was also a cue that it was playtime and I was feeling controlling and he better be ready to obey me. I have a kitty now. A very sweet boy who couldn't be anything but a kitten.
I've learned I'm absolutely a sensual domme/top/owner/sub/bottom. I have no interest or desire for pain and punishment (other than teasing and denial) and that doesn't make me any less than the next kinky person. I used to feel like I somehow wasn't 'real' because I didn't want or want to inflict pain. Now I know it's all about what fits you.
So yeah. Things are going very well. Met some great, helpful people and make some new friends. Mission accomplished.
I guess that means it's time for a new mission ;)